Choose Wisely
Proverbs 12:26 NKJ
26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray.
I really like Proverbs twelve. There are so many practical nuggets of wisdom in this particular chapter. Of course, all of the Proverbs contain godly wisdom, but to me, this chapter is one of the standouts. It starts strong right out of the gate in verse one declaring that if you hate correction, you are stupid. I thought that may have just been the translation of my New King James Bible, but the NLT version says, “To learn, you must love discipline, it is stupid to hate correction.” And the CSB does not refrain from using the word stupid. I need to make sure Joy sees this. When my kids were growing up, she considered stupid on par with another word that starts with the letter s.
Our verse for today is great practical wisdom that pertains to people of all ages. When my children were younger, we would pay close attention to the friends they chose. Friendships were key indicators of how my children identified in the stages of their lives. Friends could also point to the direction that my children were going. It is wise to pay attention to the friend groups of children, especially if they change dramatically for the worse.
The reason for paying close attention to friend groups is what our proverb for today states. The way of the wicked leads them astray. Friends with wrong motives and behaviors can lead good kids in the wrong direction. The pre-teen and teen years are vulnerable years when many young people are looking for ways to fit in and be accepted. This is where a good church youth group can be of help. No youth group is perfect, but good ones that create welcoming environments can be a source of refuge for a young person.
But we can’t stop paying attention to our proverb for today just because we mature. I have seen good people with a heart for God be influenced by the friends they chose. The word wicked in our modern usage is confined to child abusers and people who blaspheme God. The actual Hebrew meaning of this word is someone who is guilty or in the wrong. There are people who are going in the wrong direction that we would not typically define as wicked. But if we broaden the definition to include those who are wrong in terms of their relationship and beliefs in God, then things change. The Proverbs can be blunt, so I will be blunt. Anyone minimizing or leading you away from a closer relationship with God is in the wrong. And while I am on the soap box, anyone constantly criticizing The Church, organized religion, the church you attend, if it is sincere and bearing good fruit, is wrong. There is no perfect church, but the church is still the Body of Christ and the bride of Christ. As a rule of thumb, it's not wise to criticize someone’s bride. Paul wrote that our words are to bring grace and build up, not tear down (see Ephesians 4:29). There’s plenty of toxicity in the world around us; the church is to be different.
So what if you realize that you may be hanging around with the wrong people? You can try explaining in order to help them see the error of their ways. Sometimes that works if your friend is truly humble. Often, it makes them angry, and they may leave you. But you are better off without them than to risk having them lead you in a way that is wrong. Pray and stay away. And remember, going forward, choose wisely.