DON’T GIVE IT AWAY
Proverbs 31:1-3 NKJV
1 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:
2 What, my son?
And what, son of my womb?
And what, son of my vows?
3 Do not give your strength to women,
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
Okay, before all you ladies revolt against me, hear me out. This is a mother talking to her son. Some historians believe Lemuel was a pet name that Bathsheba had for Solomon. I cannot attest to the accuracy of that speculation, but if the warning was for Solomon, he didn’t listen. The man had way too many women in his life, one thousand to be exact. And it was his wives that were the ruin of Solomon, not his money. When Solomon was older, the scriptures tell us his wives turned his heart after other gods. Solomon gave his strength away, his heart for God, and it was his downfall.
Now it’s only fair to say that if I were talking to my daughter, it would be, don’t give your strength to men. But here is the bottom line. Relationships can be a blessing, but even the best relationships require something from us. And to take that thought a bit further, bad relationships will absolutely drain you of strength. Joy and I have worked with singles and then have had singles on our staff. Over forty years of ministry has taught us a few things. But one thing we have observed for sure, people who were doing great in their relationship with the Lord could absolutely be derailed by involvement in a wrong relationship. The NLT has an intriguing translation of verse three: “do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings.” This version speaks to bad relationships, and Solomon was the poster child for this warning. How could you be as rich and brilliant and esteemed as Solomon and have your heart turned away from God and worship foreign gods? He gave his strength to the wrong women.
Does every relationship drain you to the point that it pulls you away from God? Absolutely not. A good relationship can add strength but should not be the source of your strength. If I make Joy the source of my strength, it will put too much pressure on her and create an unrealistic expectation. If the source of my strength, spiritually speaking, is my relationship with the Lord, then I am in a position to not drain Joy and be there for her when she needs me. Good relationships can be a source of encouragement and help, but our strongest place is our relationship with God.
So am I an advocate for being single as opposed to getting married? The short answer is no, unless you sense that there is God’s grace on your life to be single. Paul was single and a proponent of staying single. He warned the Corinthians in chapter seven, verse twenty-eight, that if they married, they would have trouble in the flesh. Paul wasn’t negative. Paul just understood that two people living together would not always live in perfect peace and harmony. I don’t have the grace in my life to be single. Joy has informed me that I need help, a lot of help.
So, to sum up our verses for today, if you are single and living for God, stay out of relationships that would pull you away from the Lord. If you are married, stay married. But shift your strength to the Lord, not your spouse. And regardless of your current condition, know that the Lord will never abandon you. He will help you, and you can do all things through the One who gives you strength.