Stopping Strife in Your Life
Proverbs 17:1, 14, 27-28 NKJV
1 Better is a dry morsel with quietness,
Than a house full of feasting with strife.
14 The beginning of strife is like releasing water;
Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.
27 He who has knowledge spares his words,
And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered preceptive.
Strife, also known as contention, arguing, quarreling, disputes, or old-fashioned fussing and fighting. Here are four verses that help us put a stop to strife in our lives.
Verse one tells us that strife can ruin an environment. You can have a wonderful meal prepared, a literal feast, and strife can ruin the meal. Strife ruins the atmosphere so much so that a dry sandwich is going to taste better than a steak with strife. If we recognize the destructive result of strife, it will help us avoid it.
Verse fourteen tells us the difficulty of stopping strife once it has started. I know I have paused before saying something, knowing it will start an argument. In my younger days, I didn't care as much and would just go ahead and let it fly. The ensuing argument could have been stopped if I had kept my mouth shut. But no, I had to have my say. Of course, it ruined the environment, or a meal, or a peaceful time in the home. And strife never blessed my children. To little ones, arguing can make them feel as if they are not in a safe place. I still remember the feeling when my parents argued. Strife can impact the innocent.
In verses twenty-seven and twenty-eight, we have a sure-fire strife stopper: shutting your lips. I am quoting scripture here. Shutting your lips indicates you are a person of knowledge. Staying calm reveals that you have understanding. You understand that blowing up is rarely profitable, so you have a calm spirit. Because you are a wise person, you recognize that you do not have to comment on everything; you can be sparing with your words. And even if you are not a wise person, you can fool most everyone by simply staying quiet. The point is that you will not start strife with the words you do not say.
I realize that strife is a two-way street. You may be trying to be quiet and stay calm, and someone else is blowing up and escalating the situation. If possible, walk away. You can't argue if there is only one of you present. Joy learned that with me. I would be cranking up the strife, and she would walk out of the room. Or the real kicker was when I would be ratcheting up the strife late at night, and she would go to sleep when I was talking. Me learning to spare my words, be quieter, and not say everything that popped into my head has helped our marriage in a big way.
Strife will drain you spiritually and emotionally. I have never ended an argument and thought, "Wow, that was refreshing." Stop it before it starts and learn to be more judicious with your words. Everyone will think you are a wise and perceptive person, and according to the Scriptures, that's exactly what you are.